You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Randomize
