I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
