dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
