So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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