I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
