You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
