I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
