ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
