Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
