Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i've created a new STD.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
