Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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