At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
