one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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