I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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