Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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