So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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