Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf

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(913): View more from Kansas

He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just got walked in on during safety inspections

(828): View more from North Carolina

Think you passed?

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(917): View more from New York City

On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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(937): View more from Ohio

The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.

Fav 7 1936 891
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(815): View more from Illinois

I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.

Fav 2 486 686
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(212): View more from New York

He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.

Fav 2 16 53
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