beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize