pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
