im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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