She told me I should be a condom model.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
