I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
