he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
this just has baby written all over it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
