I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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