words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
