if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
