My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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