No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
