just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
