It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
