It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
