Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
