Screwed.edu
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
