Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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