Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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