I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
