i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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