literally had 100 drinks last night.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
