hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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