I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
