I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Randomize