I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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