if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
