I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
