why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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