Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
