i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
