quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
