Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This can only be settled by a dance off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
