addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize