your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
