I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
