I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize