whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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