Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
