i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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