would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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