I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
