i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
