Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize