Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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