People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
