He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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