sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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