I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
