i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
